Thursday, June 01, 2006
Those bunch of asshole. FUCKERS. DAMN them. I refuse to admit any blood relations withe them.
Considering the fact the I accidentally deleted the last post and am doing this the second time. I'm even more PISSED now. yeah. This is the first time i've ever felt so helpless. Powerless. There is NOTHING i can do at all. Nothing. I can't change anything, even if I want to. I guess this is probably how i'd felt had I stayed back there. I love that place, but I'm glad I'm here now. Where I came from, in that fucking tradtional conservative machoistic sexists chinese family, is a cultural hellhole. get me. I wouldn't be who I am now if I had stayed. I'd be just like the rest of them, business-minded, going for finance instead of art because art can't make good safe money. Because music is useless. Because, well, it's not so nice to brag to your colleagues about ur granddaughter being a top musician at Julliard rather than the fact that she is a top businessman.
My dad can't be bothered. He lets those bloody fraternal relatives of mine run over my mom like scum. And that's what they do. Especially that second uncle of mine, along with his plastic face wife and her In-Vitro twin fucktards. One of which is a guy with a violence inclination and both are pampered brats. SImply because the boy is the only grandson my family has. That's all.
No offence to guys out there. But this spasticated brat has done no justice to my grandparents' statement of "guys are better than girls." My Grnadpa not so bad. My grandma is simply prejudiced. They love us, and always send stuff to us, like snacks and everything. But well, those stuff she sent over are actually leftovers from the twins. If the twins want it, we'll never see it.
This family politics just piss me off like mad. Seriously. Oh of course they love us. At least my grandparents do. But sometimes, they love others more. And me and my sis and my mom fall into precarious situations. Because, mom has no blood relations with them, and they always side dad and even my immediate family is split. Damn them. How I wish I could go back to those days when it's just me. No one else. And I didn't know a thing at all.
Ignorance IS bliss, damn you genie.
I can't figure out all these hypocritic High Society people. They gossip all day about this exiled family n Singapore. I'm not that badd.
Now I know why my mom was so pissed when I get bad results. Because my grades(and my sis's) are our last defence. These are the things that my grandparents' are still proud of. And these achievements are the only reason we're of any worth at all to them. So they can brag to their golf friends and occasionally the Minister of Air-Freights Safety or the Minister of Education who are my Grandad's frequent guests. Hypocrites. That's why I've gotta keep my grades up. Not just for myself and my own dreams. But to uphold the honour of my mom.
OMG> THOSE FUCKERS>
sometimes the stuff my grandad says about my mom just makes me wanna slap him. I would. I could. But I can't dishonour my mom. It'd only make things worse. I hate politics.
FUCKERS. Sometimes when grandpa says bad stuff about mom, she'll say, "well, ican't talke back. He's an old man, I don't dare to." And I'll have this urge to add, "Yeah, hang in there. The old man will be gone soon." It's wrong. But what they did to us ain't right either.
That's why I love going back to the suburbs.
Fuck them.
posted @ 8:46 PM
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