Art Is Everywhere

long time no see

2007-02-10T21:09:00.000-08:00

wow. i really havent posted for a VERY VERY long time. so most likely nobody reads this anymore. but whatever.
seriously, which mother in the world would buy her own daughter a Micro-Miniskirt? (about same length as the Fibo cheerleading skirt). apparently the same one that waltzed in the living room chanting strange things..

lost

2006-11-16T06:31:00.000-08:00

ok. i know. its my fault. i shouldn't have left something so important around like tat, alone. I guess i was wrong about people. i thought too well of humanity.

but stilll. who ever that took the violin. i hope u die in hell. you deserve to, you worthless piece of scum. it just makes my blood boils, how some people can be inconsiderate, not to mention inhumane enough to steal something like that. Don't you know, don't you know how important it is to me? (yes, i know. i left it alone. but it is very heavy. i trust people too much, u see)

You, are such a bastard son of a bitch FUCKTARD. whoever you are. you should go stuff a cheap violin bow up your ass and sleep on a pile of burning charcoal and get raped by the world's most disgusting people. But then, you ARE the world's most disgusting person. So you'll just have to SCREW YOURSELF. i don't care if its anatomically acheivable. just do it. i earned it, you EFFING MORON.

seriously. you SUCKER. apparently you don't have a conscience. Well, i hope the guilt will kill you. If it doesn't, something else terrible will. (tsunami, tornado, earthquake, car accident, fall on track of MRT) That is, if i don't ever find out who you are. Or else i will lock you up in the school cupboard for 3 days, then strip you naked and release upon hungry-for-sex men/women in the colosseum and invite donald trump and heidi klum to watch. following which you will be bloated by an endless supply of nothing but vinegar. And then you will be tied to a stake and burned. but not to death. after ur legs are gone, you will be hoisted into the ocean and half-drowned, and then revived. And then you will be tied to the rear of a horse and dragged on burning charcoal for half a mile. And then you will be whacked on the head and everywhere with a violin. Whipped with the bow. And then transported to trannsylvania to be impaled like Dracula did. (to stick a sharp stick into the hole in ur denierre and pierce it up to ur brains.

yeah. tats all.

fungi

2006-10-28T20:59:00.000-07:00

i feel so damn old.

death impending

2006-10-24T05:37:00.000-07:00

ok. tats fast.
another relative dead. I dont know her well. so yeah. but I saw her in June. people are going one by one. it's about time.

violin recital

2006-10-20T23:56:00.001-07:00

hahaha. what a night. soggy nuggets are so disgusting. anyway, the violin recital was so fun. thanks to becca&berry, aaron luxi darren divya janellie, sabrina intan stephie and mia. And of course Jonjon. who clapped too early. HAHAHA. i was just wondering who tat was.
hyper .
and SUPER tired.
and dunno where to hide my face.

i really screwed up the Blue Danube bad leh... hope they dint get it on tape.
seriously. so humiliating. my bowings are all different from jojo's. but my reaction time too slow, cant catch up with sidwyn's. sure damn obvious. XD

violin recital

2006-10-20T23:56:00.000-07:00

i totally give up.

2006-10-18T06:57:00.000-07:00

it's so hard. i've never been this moody for so long in my life. its so tiring. i feel like crap. it's so hard when no one cares . everything's either getting on my nerves or making me depressed. dunno wads the problem. so pessimistic.
do u care? nah, dont think so.
dont need u.
no tat much anyway.
im such a fool.

photos=)

2006-10-07T00:45:00.000-07:00

go to photo.xuite.net/annyenil

as part of my newly declared passion for photography, i have this photo album thing. check it out from time to time. will be updated=)

miracles

2006-10-05T06:07:00.000-07:00

i dunno how the subject came up. but they were talking abt suicide and jumping from the sixth floor.
the i remembered, It wasnt that long ago. in fact, less than 3 months. she's been gone for that long. I only have fragments of memories to remind myself of now and then. The disbelief persists. doesnt bother me much. i still can remember, the last time she came, we went to the zoo. she dint get to see the polar bears.
she's gone and she still hasnt seen the polar bears.
tomorrow, i'm gonna see them for her.

lonely

2006-09-25T05:40:00.000-07:00

Only Lonely.
I like tuesdays, I get to make cups. I love making mugs. yay me.
so much work, but i dont really mind. pressure drives me crazy but i really don't mind. It kinda forces me to think about treally INSPIRATIONAL weird things that will not occur to me under normal circumstances.

anyway, i've decided. On the occasion whereby i am already 18 and still boyfriendless, i shall devote the rest of my life to be a cat lady and dream about marrying corbin bleu/oliver james.

hmmm. sounds good.

what have i done

2006-09-20T05:32:00.001-07:00

omg.
what have i done? i've completely lost it. COMPLETELY.
my french exam is tomorrow, and i still ponned it. THis is suicide.
im falling
falling
falling.
and i cant find my way back up
and my viciousness surpirse myself/. i have been so absolutely in ruins.
how am i gonna pick myself up again.
i won't say sorry. cuz i am not. but i think i won't go furthur, cuz its starting to hurt me.

what have i done

2006-09-20T05:32:00.000-07:00

lion

2006-09-16T05:54:00.000-07:00

I AM A GIRL!!!!
I AM A GIRL I AM A GIRL I AM A GIRL I AM A GIRL.
its biologically proven. i dont have a dick and i do have a chest.
and i have never done any sort of removal or addition anywhere on my body.
i am definitely, as contrary to what all the guys of 206 thinks, NOT a man.

OK. i admit i have a MANE.
but i am not a MAN.

lost and FOUND

2006-09-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

yay. gawd im in a damn good mood. i found my long-lost spectacular classics CD. its inside my Beethoven5th symphony case. But now i cant find the beethoven CD. ah.
And I've got Jay Chou's newest CD. Its soooooo nice. and mine came with a puzzle. yeah. a PUZZLE of JAY CHOU.....*shriek*

how can it be

2006-09-09T05:17:00.000-07:00

if i just don't think about it. it's actually not so bad. but mom won't stop ranting on and on about it to every single person on the phone. what can i do. she keeps crying, my mom, i mean. and then i get scared. scared stiff. suddenly all the cool i usually possess is gone. i can't even act spastic anymore. but why? why did it happen?
selina says her mom kisses her good night every night still.
after she's been gone for about a month.
until now.
what is that>

music makes my world go round

2006-08-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

wow. the first time you listen to the song, your reaction will be :"that is the most DISGUSTING song i've heard in my life." After I looped it 15 times, my mom collapsed on the floor and begged me to switch it off.
but it grows on you. seriously. suddenly, those weird dissonance become harmony.
it's simply beautiful

where'd she go?

2006-08-17T06:08:00.000-07:00

where did she go
where would she be
where is heaven
is it what I thought it would be?

who will be the five people she'll meet there?
I don't know her well enough to know that.
the hairdryer noise disrupts my strands of negative thought.
overwhelming shadow. i can't breathe.

I don't know what to do. It is constantly hauting me. I'm looking for someone to talk to.
Someone who would say the right thing.
aint gonna stoop low enough to see the school counsellor.

but who can tell you about death?

fuck it

2006-08-15T08:24:00.000-07:00

wooohoo. i used the condo's network to go online. that counts as bypass right. haha.
anyway, yeah. i guess when th real thing hits me, its different than all the hypothesis i've ever drawn about these sort of stuff.
but she's gone for real. Damn it. her daughter is only 5 and she's being taken away just like that.
Just gone. I can;'t believe it. She still seems lively in my head.
I dont' wanna believe.

Also, i've been really tolerant but seriously there's no need to put me down 24/7 can. i know im fat, chubby, plump, u name it. my patience is wearing out, ok. I have a self-esteem to keep. Thanks to all these nice ppl around me, if not i'd think myself worthless by now. you just don'tnthink before u do things to ppl around u. ppl like me who think for u. im not pissed. just damn tired.

Race between Minds

2006-08-09T07:20:00.000-07:00

Interesting. Ha. My MSN Messenger has been disabled. My dad is trying to force me to study IT, just like he did. I dunno why. But I kinda figrued it out. This sorta solving puzzle thing is actually quite fun. I realised that any thing that involved MSN or Messenger on my computer will be disabled. Which means that I'm on a keyboard block of "MSN Messenger."
Problem is, how to remove it?/....

oh yeah

2006-08-07T04:47:00.000-07:00

haha. if u gonna say something not nice about me in my blog, at least make sure u have the right to. cuz if u dun know me, dont even comment. people who tell me to think about myself first obviously dont know me. cuz if there is anyone who reflects on herself, it's me.
and, if u get pissed, dont read.
it's that simple.
i have PMS cannot izzit/

words

2006-08-03T07:30:00.000-07:00

pissed more and more easily for some inexplicable reason. he seems so deep and yet so superficial. but what exactly is superficial. when i dont think at all, its superficial. when i go very in depth, its superficial pretense. what am i supposed to do. he pissed me off. his words are all over the place, like sharp blades thrown carelessly around. he pisse me off cuz he scares me.

he pissed me off too. who are you to judge my art, to call it superficial, to tell me to think deeper. u called the bottlerack SEXY. if sudden inspiration is shallow, then what is Eureka?

she piss me off too. her classic image is superficiality. no deeper than a cm. but i told myself i wont lower myself to match her.

she piss me off too. the labels she bestowed upon me. her pure innocence just disgust me to the very end.

she piss me off too, for her idealism that she plaster onto me, it dries up and encast me in the hard shell of reluctance. i have zero faith at her words.

They all piss me off. for the scam in the newspaper. the bullshit. the abuse. those morons. for mistreating an artist. they're lucky to have her and they dont appreciate her. when left, you'll know. we'll all be doomed.

i piss me off too. for being a perpetual idiot with zero discipline and zero luck. for the uncontrollable rage building up in me.

fuck all of you

hahah

2006-08-01T05:15:00.000-07:00

very paiseh...very paiseh. =P///
really didnt run very well today at 1.5km. isaac and lianhan were like maniacs. chua was very fast too. and fishie=)////haha but still quite fun.

apethy

2006-07-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

yuck. those are NOT poems. man. you know, those soapy stuff on the Net, where the plot is always unrequited love and one of the characters die. The characters are usually called the boy and the girl, or simply Him and Her. And if it's not unrequited love, they are two betrothed lovers and one will die of a terminal illness. it's so super overrated there should be a new genre for it. like, i dunno, Superficial Chick Poetry.
a typicl one will go,
he was a boy she was a girl//can i make it anymore obvious!//He was a punk, she did ballet//What more can I say?//He wanted her, she'd never tell//secretly she wanted him as well//But all of her friends, stuck up their nose//They had a problem with his baggy clothes...//

it was nice the first time. Avril Lavigne did it while it was cool. now it sounds like grandma's soap operas. YUCK

there

2006-07-20T06:56:00.000-07:00

ooooh. it was so uber-cool.
it was beautiful. Lord. thank You for that stroke of genius.
I finally went to church
It's unforgettable. thanks Jiayu for being there. the quietness was not smoldering or choking. it was simply silence.
Beautiful silence. undead.

where im heading

2006-07-19T06:31:00.000-07:00

thanks. thanks so much for overlooking my idiocy. thats the only reason our frenship hasnt fallen apart.
thank God.
usually when im blogging, im not capable of coherent thought. it's a wonder there are people who actually bother reading it.

somehow

2006-07-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

i felt trapped. it's so cliched but i do anyway.
what have i done to myself. no one is trapping me. i'm the one locking myself out. the barrier blocking me is myself. i need to break free from myself.
where will i go?

damn

2006-07-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

how do u become happy?
by not thinking too much, by ignorance?
but if u dont know anything, when the truth hits, doesnt it hurt more? and i go thinking how much it hurts, when it hasnt come yet.

i hate self-denial more than anything. yet im lying to myself about those things i regret, to make my own life easier. it's wrong. i have to be honest with myself, if not to anyone else

it's so hard.
i am really tired.

my, my.

2006-07-13T06:52:00.000-07:00

i dunno what on earth is going on.
with everything.
damn,
i've said the F word to two PE teachers liao. one left.

my existence

2006-07-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

sometimes wonder if my existence matter at all. i mean, they are people out there, if they disappear, a hell lot of people would know, would care.
one day, if i suddenly disappear, would you notice?
would you care?

depressed again!

2006-07-11T05:04:00.000-07:00

there is only so many times a person can listen to vivaldi's winter 1st movement without going nuts. unlike thinking, which is completely unlimited. and here i am thinking myself to death.
today's prayer meeting, i felt so far away. i'm really trying to get a grip on myself, my emotions, everything. but it seems as though i've completely lost control over everything.
i ain't got no one to talk to.
so alone. who's gonna understand me? who on earth is fungi-literate?
I need to find someone for me. but in the middle of the night, where there's no one but me, where can i turn to.
a contorted figure, the ache constantly screwing up my heart.
i can't being cheerful. i cant stay gloomy for too long when there are many people around. but after everyone's left, i am left alone. sure, im a christian. i have god by my side.
He'll catch me when i fall, he'll make sure that i'm all right.
it's just that, sometimes, everybody would long for something more solid. something to hold on to.
something i can grab on tightly and never let go.
something breathing.

family cannot be trusted

2006-07-07T06:56:00.000-07:00

the thing about family is. They always tell things to one another. Then they have the power to mock you constantly for it. they backstab you unknowingly and yet u have to keep smiling at them.
and i cant use the "f" word on it.
I love peggy. I do. But she rattles everything to my mom. things that she promise not to tell my mom.
now my mom's dancing in the living room chanting,"fangyi has a boyfriend, fangyi has a boyfriend."
the best part is, i DON'T.

i love you.

2006-07-05T07:50:00.000-07:00

i didn't think i'm capable of loving. ever since i was cruelly taken away from my homeland 5 years ago, i've sealed myself up. i never let my parents know that i love them or anything, because i knew they'd laugh at me for even having emotions. I was to remain that prim emotionless kid. I still am, at home. i'd never let them know that what they do hurt, because if they found out what hurts, they'll induce it on me. So i pretend i didn't give a damn. Slowly, it stuck. Like a habit.
then high school showed me that people areactually nice. and that it's ok to feel. and then i became who i am. but in the process i've shed that old protective shield. i am defenseless.

weak.

yes. but i know it's ok.
it's all gonna be ok.

North Korea has gone mad. the World War 3 is coming. what on earth am i living for. signs of the false prophets, catastrophe pending. Is this really coming for real?

Apocalypse.

Assholic jealous peeps

2006-06-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

Ok. I am sorry Divya. I shouldn't have called you a fucker. Because calling people fucker is wrong. And I should believe you when you say you are not pissed with me because you are not jealous of me because of the whole darren thing. and that you don't like darren. OK. I believe you. Too late to take back what I said I guess.
I'm just saying that I'm sorry.

moi2

2006-06-29T07:32:00.000-07:00

so there. maybe it's PMS or something. i dunno yet. but it was nice. those people really cared.
it was exactly what it is supposed to be.
it was.

and im not done. not this time. im sick of being objective. ok
it was so nice. but u weren''t there. u'r missing it out cuz ur not what we are.
i know ur different. i accept that. i DO love you.
i do.

moi

2006-06-28T06:11:00.000-07:00

i've never done my best for anything. not even the things that i really love. never once.
i dunno why. maybe it's because i'm afraid my efforts would be wasted, like those many times.
or maybe im just born lazy.

my life....ahh....shit

2006-06-20T03:08:00.000-07:00

ah damn. the little BASTARDS. i know i know...i should be more loving to my sister. I used to be, u know. Hugged her andplayed with her. Until a certain time when I decided I need some love myself first. Ah. those dark days. I won't go back there, i'm fine and well over that. But things between me and that eight-year-old growing at full blast annoying little brat never heals. (nothing in the family heals. not between me and my mom. or my dad.We just leave it behind and bring it up during shouting matches as weapons for tearing the heart apart.)
The point is, that little idiot came home and asked me if i had Hillsong. I sweatdropped like mad. (thanks to stephie&camille=) i have a hillsong CD. and I downloaded loads.) but she won't know tat. I pretended tat she was simply talking shit and I have no idea what she was talking about. But seriously, if there's one thing i'd ever relented on that brat, it's music. I never refuse to share my CDs with her. (classical ones of course) I'd love to take out my Hillsong CD and let her listen to my songs. but i can't.
In this household, everyday is a game. From young I was trained unintentionally to lie on the spot with no sweat, to keep my face straight. I'm equipped with endless creativity and tricks. (But this only applies in family). It's getting better nowadays, but it still applies.
The point is, if she listens to Hillsong, or even play it, I'll be damn screwed.
Damn screwed.

lalalallalal

2006-06-18T00:32:00.000-07:00

ahhh...finally watched da vinci code. yay.
honestly, it wasn't that good. depthless conspiracy served hollywood style. Pirates of the Carribean seemed more watchable. but after I read that Captain Jack will die, I decided against watching tat.
Johnny Depp totally rocks. AHH...I love Johnny Depp...and Jake Gyllenhaal...AND GEORGE CLOONEY ROCKSS FOREVER!!!!!!!!

from the airport!

2006-06-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

yipppppeeeee!!!!=)
i'm currently bloggin ths from the computer at the airport. excitement brews up...haha
BOARDING!! byebye

reconcil.

2006-06-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

i can't believe i haven't spoken to her for 3 whole years. and i'm talking to her right now. back in those days, annie, me and ronnie were the 3 Musketeers. we ruled the classroom in and out. we were at the top. oh man, we WERE at the top. and we used to crush on the same guys (me and ronnie did. )and then dump him together. our classroom seating were usually in pairs, so the three of us would be togetehr in one corner tormenting a poor guy. and then i left and they went into different classes. the end.
hmm...i haven't thought of those days for a long time. looks like i'm prone to a trio configuration. but i dun think i've ever replaced someone with someone else.
it's different.but i;m glad anyway

Assholes

2006-06-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

Those bunch of asshole. FUCKERS. DAMN them. I refuse to admit any blood relations withe them.
Considering the fact the I accidentally deleted the last post and am doing this the second time. I'm even more PISSED now. yeah. This is the first time i've ever felt so helpless. Powerless. There is NOTHING i can do at all. Nothing. I can't change anything, even if I want to. I guess this is probably how i'd felt had I stayed back there. I love that place, but I'm glad I'm here now. Where I came from, in that fucking tradtional conservative machoistic sexists chinese family, is a cultural hellhole. get me. I wouldn't be who I am now if I had stayed. I'd be just like the rest of them, business-minded, going for finance instead of art because art can't make good safe money. Because music is useless. Because, well, it's not so nice to brag to your colleagues about ur granddaughter being a top musician at Julliard rather than the fact that she is a top businessman.
My dad can't be bothered. He lets those bloody fraternal relatives of mine run over my mom like scum. And that's what they do. Especially that second uncle of mine, along with his plastic face wife and her In-Vitro twin fucktards. One of which is a guy with a violence inclination and both are pampered brats. SImply because the boy is the only grandson my family has. That's all.
No offence to guys out there. But this spasticated brat has done no justice to my grandparents' statement of "guys are better than girls." My Grnadpa not so bad. My grandma is simply prejudiced. They love us, and always send stuff to us, like snacks and everything. But well, those stuff she sent over are actually leftovers from the twins. If the twins want it, we'll never see it.
This family politics just piss me off like mad. Seriously. Oh of course they love us. At least my grandparents do. But sometimes, they love others more. And me and my sis and my mom fall into precarious situations. Because, mom has no blood relations with them, and they always side dad and even my immediate family is split. Damn them. How I wish I could go back to those days when it's just me. No one else. And I didn't know a thing at all.
Ignorance IS bliss, damn you genie.
I can't figure out all these hypocritic High Society people. They gossip all day about this exiled family n Singapore. I'm not that badd.
Now I know why my mom was so pissed when I get bad results. Because my grades(and my sis's) are our last defence. These are the things that my grandparents' are still proud of. And these achievements are the only reason we're of any worth at all to them. So they can brag to their golf friends and occasionally the Minister of Air-Freights Safety or the Minister of Education who are my Grandad's frequent guests. Hypocrites. That's why I've gotta keep my grades up. Not just for myself and my own dreams. But to uphold the honour of my mom.

OMG> THOSE FUCKERS>
sometimes the stuff my grandad says about my mom just makes me wanna slap him. I would. I could. But I can't dishonour my mom. It'd only make things worse. I hate politics.
FUCKERS. Sometimes when grandpa says bad stuff about mom, she'll say, "well, ican't talke back. He's an old man, I don't dare to." And I'll have this urge to add, "Yeah, hang in there. The old man will be gone soon." It's wrong. But what they did to us ain't right either.

That's why I love going back to the suburbs.
Fuck them.

fine

2006-06-01T05:56:00.000-07:00

i...kinda like you.

holidays

2006-06-01T05:44:00.000-07:00

i finished seaon 2 of ER within one week. oh gawd. Best show ever...even though it's like in the 1990s. who cares. i love that show. ahh. gonna watch it again.
bored to hell. went for the Dinosaur exhibition duty today. some kids r cute, some are pure assholes. bored. im bored. suffering from ER withdrawal symptoms. My only other alternatives is to watch reruns of Judging Amy or Fruits Basket. not working either. damn.
can't wait for sunday to come.

intermezzo

2006-05-22T06:06:00.000-07:00

AHHHH...Brahms' Intermezzo in A major Op. 118 is soooooooooo nice. hahahaha. so happy. I should've chosen that song in the first place. my teacher says it sounds like soundtrack.

i am a bitch

2006-05-18T07:18:00.000-07:00

i realise that i am a really terrible person with an uncontrollable mouth.
always gets me into trouble. i mean, the number of people that i've never bitched abt is actually countable. those around me that is.
People i've never bitched about
1. Berry( aside from to becca. not counted)
2. Becca( aside from to berry. not counted)
3. ken
4. dorothy
5. darren
oh...c'mon...i couldn't have bitched THAT much...oh man

thing

2006-05-11T18:17:00.000-07:00

ok. josephine sabo me to do the weird thing. so yeah.

Name 20 people at the top of your head :
1. Becca
2. Berry
3. Ken
4. Darren
5. Dorothy
6. Jenkin
7. Divya
8. Eunice (my lovely neighbour + ex-classmate)
9. Veronica
10. Peggy
11. Henry
12. Sidwyn
13. Donovan
14. Bryan
15. Janellie
16. Sharlene
17. Jiayu
18. Fishie=)
19. Luxi
20. Timo

and then......?....WTF.
how did you meet 14 ?
- same house senior. whee=)

what would you do if you never met 1?
- Becca... i dunno. i luv her=). if i never met becca, i would spend the majority of my 1st term alone watching brenda knocking over all the easels trying to kill Berry. So i'll prolly be alone now. can't imagine.

what would you do if 20&9 dated?
- Ronnie and Timo? eeewwww. Ronnie is my friend in TW. Timo prolly not good enuf for her lar. Her standard DAMN high. SUPER CHIO =)

did you ever like 19?
-yep, i've always harboured a secret crush on Luxi. YEAH RIGHT. hahaha. he's a good guy. but NO THANKS. (and he only go for chio ppl anyway.)

will 6 and 17 make a good couple?
-Jenkin and Jiayu? OOOOOOOOO (honestly that was pure coincidence.) shan't elaborate.=)

describe 3
-Ken is a techno-loving, drum-playing, mad, demented, twiggy person. but we still love him. =)

do you think 8 is attractive?
-oh DUH. she's soooo cute=)

tell me something about 7
-yay. divya rocks. she's got this bitch at home named amber. and she kisses it everyday. *shudder*

do you know any of 12's family?
-nope. heard he's got this family of musically -inclined ppl, but never known.

what would you do if 11 confesses that he likes you?
- ARHHHH....RUNNNNNNNN!!!!! Henry is like, 24...and he's my cousin.

what language does 15 speak?
- nothing. (tee-hee=)/ ok lar dun be so mean. Janellie parle anglais, japonais et chinois.=)

who is 9 going out with?
-interesting question... some hot guy a few years older than her. (*sigh*...some ppl have all the luck)

how old is 16?
-Sharlene is 14 =)

when was the last time you talked to 13?
- another pure coincidence... honestly i can't remember. once upon a time.... ok. let's not go there.

who's 2's fave singer/band?
- Berry used to like Avril but refuse to admit. now all she listen to is Click 5.

would you date 7?
- im straight. and even if i'm a les, i wont unless she gets rid of that bitch at home. =)

is 15 single?
- hmmm....won't say.

what's 10's last name?
- Peggy Chi. wheeee=) i luv her. muax

would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11?
- no. it's against the law. and extremely unethical in my culture. eeewww.

what school does 3 go to?
- interestingly, ken goes to the National University of Singapore High School of Mathematics and Science. HAHA.

where does 6 live?
-no idea. can't remember.

what's your favourite thing about 5?
- she ROCKS man. YAY. DORANY=)....yeah. she puts up with by bullshit a lot.
That's saying a lot, you know.

have you seen 1 naked?
- nope. not that i would want to. she's like a stick man. Woman.

5 people i wanna sabo :
sharlene
sidwyn
eunice
darren
jessica

whew. done. i got backache liao.

fungi rulez

2006-05-10T01:13:00.000-07:00

i really don't like it. ouch. ouch. ouch. ouch.
WTF. can't wait for exams to be over. i have 5 seasons of ER waiting for me at home.

campanella

2006-05-06T22:28:00.000-07:00

yesterday's piano class was very interesting. ms chin's using the new method of physics. like, science in music. totally new approach. i dunno lar. something about F= ma and natural frequency. because basically playing the piano requires a lot of physics. so F is the sound produced, a is the acceleration of the finger down onto the key and mass is moi. In the Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven Opus 27 no. 2 1st movement, the entire piece is full of melancholic identical triplets throughout. so in order to maintain the sound, the speed and the way the finger drops onto the keyboard must be equal since the mass "m" wont change. And because every person has a different *ahem* mass ( like me...tres grosse) and different acceleration, everyone's freefall sound will be their own. completely original. COOL.

haiz

2006-05-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

stooopid guy. i was so shocked i started howling in the middle of the street. then i realise how important this friend is. seriously, when he smsed that, it started raining heavily and i was covered in mud and drenched...holding an umbrella. (forgot to open it up). and i stumbled onto the road blindly.
i swear, no i can't swear, i was so stunned, my hands start twiching again the way they do whenever something like an emotional trauma occurs.
haiz. imagine my mix of pissedness and ...weirdness. the taxi driver was prolly looking at me in a bizarre manner. VERY bizarre.
And there goes, he tricked me again.

depression

2006-05-04T04:38:00.000-07:00

french oral exam tomorrow. where the heck did that come from. Man, im screwed.
i love that song. Ain't No Mountain High Enough. so nice!!! Remember the Titans is a movie worth watching over and over. I'm gonna rent it after exams. But, yeah, after exams i'll be spending every single night watching ER until I finish Seasons 2-4. I don't care how. ER is the best show EVER.
can't wait

yeah...

2006-05-02T06:20:00.000-07:00

to some extent, H was right(we all hate to admit that he's right for once) when he says that those two people are turning into each other. sort of. and it's turning a lot of people crazy. technically it's nothing wrong. but...there's just something not right with it. everybody changes, i've changed, you've changed, he changed, she changed, they changed. We all changed. But of course we don't necessarily have to like changes.
Actually i don't really notice the difference. I'm lucky to have great friends around me. So no worries.
but, to some people, this seemed realy important.
I dont know what's really going on. But I don't like the sound of this.

Music of Western History

2006-05-01T03:38:00.000-07:00

I am practically insane and barely alive, showing signs of immediate violence. I'm gonna puke if I see the word "polyphony" again. *shirek*

MSM concert

2006-04-29T07:17:00.001-07:00

oh mi gawd. i'll never forget tonight. it's simply amazing. I played in the MSM concert tonight. Magic.
I dint screw up. (not that much anw). i had a biography in the programme and they gave me flowers, like a real concertist!!!

MSM concert

2006-04-29T07:17:00.000-07:00

Prayer Meeting

2006-04-28T01:51:00.000-07:00

yay. today's prayer meeting was extremely meaningful. I finally got the basic chord right on roti's guitar. But that's not the point. I learned a lot. especially when darren and divya talk about how nice aaron was. It's soooo touching..i can't believe anyone can be that nice. That's a true friend in him. And the whole Gaystack thing as well. I always act on impulse. God. That was such a big mistake I made. We made.
Like I said during the prayer meeting, i realised that we don't have the right to do this to anyone. We say that we don't like them because they don't give us a reason to like them. But we ourselves are not perfect, but God still love us. If God can do that, should'nt we do that as well?
Even if I don't like them still.

love love love

2006-04-26T05:48:00.000-07:00

whee. interesting things going on. hahaha. muahahaha.

STORY
And so, once upon a time, there is this girl, and this boy two years older than her. They were good friends. They girl doesn't believe in love, and the boy didn't believe her. So they made a bet : the girl will spent two whole years without falling in love with anyone, and no one will fall in love with her. No one know what would happen if she or he wins the bet. Maybe its just the dignity.
After one year, something ironic changed the story. She fell in love with him, and HE fell in love with her.
No one knows what happened to the bet.
Je ne sais pas aussi.

*shrugs*

burn out

2006-04-25T05:16:00.000-07:00

starting to burn out again.

happy-go-lucky

2006-04-18T05:02:00.000-07:00

im a generally optimistic, but its true tat when you know more things, u become more pessimistic. when im in a good mood, i tell myself that its not gonna last. cuz when there's high, there's always low.

life's a roller-coaster ride

2006-04-17T07:42:00.000-07:00

lalalala. lalalala. ok. fine im just being random. but random is good.
anyway, i was gonna say something but I forgot what i was gonna say so maybe i just wont say anything but i just have this feeling that i should say something even though i still have no idea what to say.
anyway yeah. erm. what was i gonna say?
oh well.

cynism

2006-04-12T07:34:00.000-07:00

Biography of a Pile of Dung
Born shit
Lived shit
Died as shit

Walking around looking like shit
"cause I AM shit

My name is shit. My species is dung.
I have a nickname, they call me crap.

when i finally died
they buried me in another pile of shit
in an unmarked grave that says
"R.I.P. Shit"

optimism of the overly-pessimistic

2006-04-10T06:51:00.000-07:00

darkness shrouded me. crimson is the darkest, murkiest and most sinister shade of red. I depress myself by thinking on and on. And on. And on.
it's non-stop. I look like I don't think. probably because I think too much.

i feel more and more empty. sinking and sinking. looks like im floating. But im just in a different dimension.

why do people die? that's what dad asked me. I didn't say anything. i've never really thought about it. I just ignored him. I only wondered what happened if my family or friends die. how would i feel. He says that people die becuz of some medical reasons. i can't remember. it wasn't the answer i was looking for.

why do people die?

pessimism of the overly-optimistic

2006-04-04T07:45:00.000-07:00

we came all energetic, enthusiastic, looking for a new world
waiting to make magic. hopeful.
then slowly, the truth sink in. Truth. The surroundings darken. We start to become a little numb.
finally we succumb. who said anything about making a difference?
Getting the work done is more important.
it goes on and on.
we forget to laugh, forget to cry. we marvel at the littlest things.
Our lives turn blank.

expect the unexpected

2006-04-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

what would you know. it's april's fool's. not yet midnight.
is this just a joke?
this is getting frustrating.

2006-03-27T06:53:00.000-08:00

hahahaha. lalalalala
i love my life. sorta. oh whatever. i cant believe im really wearing proper socks. alas. But i dunno, i feel real guilty. especially when divya says tat i "should be the girl wearing orange socks." I felt a pang there. it was true. i never planned to succumb. but i succumbed to a lot of things. i refused to use Apple. But becuz i lost my Creative, i haf no choice but to receive the iPod. i conform a lot when I shoudlnt.
this is terrible.

patch of heaven

2006-03-18T04:43:00.000-08:00

i have as much homework as i had at the beginnig of the holidays. yeah.
i went to watch I NOt Stupid Too finally. decided that i can alas handle the emotinal turbulance. it was a good thing that i went alone cuz the people beside me were staring at me half-way through the movie. i think i cried through the whole thing. luckily my family went to watch Shaggy Dog. Mom was telling me its a waste of money "to watch a film when people can't speak properly in it." I had to disagree. Stereotype man. I love the movie. I mean, hello?, between a film with great artistic merit reflecting the current situation in part of the Singapore educational system as well as the attitudes of different people. and teenage stuff. and a movie in which a man hysterically turns into a dog. yeah. u get the idea.

stereotypes. its in this sort of environmen that i learned aggression.

fighting back is a good thing.

fungi' band

2006-03-09T02:44:00.000-08:00

im really really really stressed. STRESSED. STRESSED like HELL.
band. politocs. this is not right. this is submitting to peer pressure. but the thing is they actually MAKE sense. then what about the music? why cant we haf peace? tat's all i ask for man. dude. screwed.
never mind. i'll always figure something out. somehow.

yada

2006-03-07T03:08:00.001-08:00

lalalalala/. crap. must cram bio and chem together in one night. screwed lar
AHHHHHHH. CRAP

yada

2006-03-07T03:08:00.000-08:00

whiplash!

2006-03-06T03:25:00.000-08:00

ahhhh. WHIPLASH FOR LIFE!!!!
well. i dunno. everything is falling apart. maybe i should just try not to care.
i'll just hold on to the music. its so much simpler. so much easier. but that leaves me alone.
i always come and go alone. its like that.
conflicts. they happen. its falling apart.
but. WHIPLASH FOR LIFE!

screwed

2006-03-02T03:40:00.000-08:00

yeah i suck. wateva. i suck. i really suck. its pointless. my life. useless
why do i even care?
i.
SUCK.

back ache

2006-02-25T17:39:00.000-08:00

suffering from severe backache. a hell lot of stuff to study for. and still havent started a single bit. havent even done any homework. for an entire week. im so dead.

ooolala

2006-02-23T05:16:00.000-08:00

ok. sorry steph
i changed my mind. the prayer of matador sounds much better when YOU played it. i've got another stroke of genius...muahahaha...hehehe
shhhh

ooooha

2006-02-21T05:12:00.000-08:00

yay. i've decided on my piece for April 7th. but i still have to get the piece(thanks stephie!=)), get ms chin's permission and tell doc wong. the prayer of the matador. YAY. love that song.
and OMG, its so cool. i found a Chopin piano concerto CD and a Noriko Ogawa Image CD completely new out of no where. YAYAYAYAYA!!!!!!

love my life, love me

2006-02-20T04:51:00.000-08:00

oooh welll....
i must admit, even though mozart is a big sissy and i really don't like him....his songs are pretty addictive to play. just slipped through the fingers like silk. whew. love it.

2 days after valentine

2006-02-16T06:38:00.000-08:00

feel much better today. yesterday was on the verge of depression. a lot of people were. and i was much better off. i am born overly-optimistic. so my lows are still generally pretty high. arh. there're always people worse off. so i guess i've got nothing to complain about.
going to bukit chandu tmr. i dunno. i slept through the first part of the talk on wednesday and i was sitting one seat away from mr ho. haha. but the second part caught my attention. i started to imagine what life was like. what kind of fear. what kind of joy when the japanese surrender.
then tonight on MTV there was this concert in one of the Jap high school by some star named maki...and the people were all crying. I have less then 5 years left in NUS High. The future seems very unimaginable. what can happen? what will happen? no one knows for sure
but at least i know, i am back to normal from the slight deviation yesterday. i got the grip of myself again. like i've always said, i know myself pretty well. at least im not of the punky generation tat tries to act cool and moan about the unfairness of the world while leaning against a brick wall in downtown new york rubbing on their infected multi-piercings.
not tat i have a problem with punks. true punks are great artists. the rest are just Not.

peopl think im a bimbo. no, an idiot. cuz im not chio enough to be a bimbo. more airhead. haha.
try me.

the day after valentine

2006-02-15T05:25:00.000-08:00

lindsay lohan's over is so nice.
chromaticism is the way of life. music is the way of life. bach is the way of life.
love is uneccesary. who ever said it was?
such a fool
such a fool
such a fool
such a fool.
canon in d was a beautiful piece. even though i screwed it.
Mozart was a genius. Bach was greater. what do we call him?
joshua bell was a genius too. and glenn gould is even more. what do we call him?
oh yeah.
maverick.

valentine's day

2006-02-14T05:34:00.000-08:00

wheeeee. valentine's day!!! Happy V-Day to everyone. Cuz we're all human. And it is only human to love.
But.....it's another year valentineless. And i'm becoming more and more numb to it. Whew. Makes my life so much easier. I love my friends. So why ask for more?
And I really should've taken art history. the video they're watching is TOTALLY inspirational, like the COSMOS for Art. And the first line I caught was, "Human makes art, and art makes us human." So true. All Hail da Vinci!!!
Yeah hahahaha. I am still going mad. And really losing the sanity. Not that I had any to begin with.

valentine tomorrow.

2006-02-13T04:47:00.000-08:00

rushing the valentine stuff. whoever gets my stuff tomorrow...dun complain about bad wrapping. Its just not my thing. Berry rushed into the shop and garbbed some merci chocolats... bet its gonna melt tomorrow. so all gene's gonna get is a goo of mud. HAHAHA. how wonderful. must learn from me. the thing for the girls is pretty nice, and i dun think any guy can reject a perfect tube of haribo..haha I ROCK....hehe.
jessica got flowers from a guy liao. but its not even valentine yet....so its BAD LUCK,....MUAHAHAHAHA/////jkjk. And QC totally ruled this morning. At least this year people DO realise its valentine's day.
At least, i mean...haha...its soooo cute. Like, RY likes YL, and YL likes her back. And JY(1) likes some J guy.and HK likes JY(1) And KW likes JY(2). And she prolly likes him back. An JY(3) likes JY(2) too.....its freaking complicating...hhahahahaha/ and M likes RY....ahahahahahaha.....wooohooooo.
interesting valentines.

valentine in a few days

2006-02-10T21:02:00.000-08:00

valentine's day is COMING!!! and im running a freaking tight schedule...haven't bought the stuff yet. HAVENT GOT THE MONEY!!!...crap....and seeing as that i dont really have a valentine, unlike berry and becca, i dun even know why i care. seriously. but, still, valentine's is the most important holiday of the year, so.........
*hint to all available*, i am happy, i am single and i can be happier. HAHAHAHAHAHA. u know im in a good mood today.

valentineless

2006-02-09T07:23:00.000-08:00

its like that isnt it. its like tat.
its all over, just like that isnt it. i really feel like typing this all in Caps. I wanna scream. What's up with all those schemes. why? Why is it so difficult?
valentine's day is coming. and i am beginning to think that there is really no such thing left. there is no love no more. Not anymore. how am I supposed to believe when....when............................
*sob* when.................

tat's that. feverish

2006-02-04T04:04:00.000-08:00

i am so feverish..38.5. ooooh yeah.
im beginning to think it doesnt exist at all. brenda reminds me that it does. but i think it only exist to her and berry. not to me. how can that be possible?
some ppl haf all the luck.
=) so sweet.
doesnt exist.
i am not impulsive.
it sounds like two different things.
actually the same.
the same difference.

sick arh!

2006-02-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

i fell sick still...after calling rubbish bins "toilet bowls" for one whole day. i finally got it right this morning. which was after i accidentally threw my mom's priced porcelain bowl into the rubbish bin instead of the sink, and a piece of tissue paper into the laundry basket. not entirely my fault. she puts them sided by side. still not feeling at my top. weird, strengthless feeling. the only part of me still working are my hands. haiz....
this is totally wrong....something is very wrong with me still.
sick. sick. sick. arh

don-e

2006-02-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

i talked to veronica to day. havent talked to her for a very long time. she's a super chio girl now. makes me feel ashemed to stand beside her now. haha. but she's still the same nice girl. she said she still likes me for who i am. but i havent seen her for years. did she like the me in p3? or me now?
i've changed so much. and i've leanrt to know myself. tats probably one of my strong points....the very few ones.
she had had 3 boyfriends...and we're the same year. now u know how i feel. and she told me tat im smarter, tats wats important. im getting stupider according to my dad who graduated from universsity of illinois. who am i to argue wif?
what the heck whats wrong wif me. i haf such great frens. i going mad.
I am GOING MAD!!!!!!!
i just want my music and my art. and God.

CNY

2006-01-28T04:30:00.000-08:00

ah. Lunar new year. This year my whole paternal family is here. cool. which means i'll probably never get any work done. i have homework for every single core sub except bio....and music enjoyment and music and art history and violin and.....i think tats about it.
but still...it's chinese new year.
and the amount of angbao i've gotten so far has already exceeded last year's total...and that was only given by half of my family....there's still another half to collect. Hehe.... I feel so fortunate. I mean, my own family may not be very well-off, but my grandparents are rich. haha.
but seriously, im really a lucky person to have such good stuff around when someone else around the world is stilll waiting for another ration from World Vision.

stupidity.

2006-01-22T05:52:00.000-08:00

my hands are shaking again.
OK. i seriously think iam becoming more and more stupid. because my dad just told me that in my face. in their eyes, i've always been this conceited kid. and my dad saw my english paper(covered in red. but whose isnt?) and went. oh gosh. how lousy. (But....it's creative writing...it's subjective) and then he told me seriously (and mockingly) that he doesnt want me to become one of those very intelligent kids who become stupid and useless when they grow up. Like, hello?

Now my grandpa and everyone's coming for chinese new year. they're bound to ask about my results now. and i have to disappoint them because my results are not as perfect as it was in primary school. and then i have to feel rotten. it's the image tat counts. they don't care if their kid is good in piano, is learning new art techniques, or volunteering for good community services. NO. because they brought me here, they have to prove it to those people back there that the daughter's good enough to stay.

i am a shame to the family.

ice-skating

2006-01-09T00:26:00.000-08:00

whew. ice-skating was fun.
my computer printer juz vomited when i was printing bach....sad. i really need the classicFm guide to Bach. but i had to return it. crap
sometimes i really cant take it. i mean, what's the point of mocking me nonestop. its not gonna make me a better person. i juz lose my ground tats all. and to think its my parents who are mocking me madly.
im crap.

over and don--e

2006-01-07T23:19:00.000-08:00

yay. orientation rocked man. can see those ppl who dunno each other become a school. so touching. at least i dint turn all red and blotchy like roti....did i? no rite. ah.
i only cried during the part when the whole place was dark...hehe shhh. not like someppl. And oh, sharlene, thanks so much for what u did on stage....i couldnt sing. hahaha.
and come to think of it. i think i totally forgave geenee for blowing up at me liao... cuz she must have been real streessed, and all her colleagues plus her students hate her. must be real hard to live up to ms flo standards. i think i'll try to be nice about her. like i did for vardhini. i really dint talk bad abt her eversince. oh yay.
thanks sabrina for the book u gave me. it helped a lot. now im trying to find time to read the bible when im actually awake. and im not stuck at genesis anymore. (i;ve read the first two pages of genesis for like 50 times cuz i dunno how to continue) thanks to becca and berry for waiting for me for a total of over 4 hours. thanks to bryan for being there. thanks to asmidah and fishy and sharlene for listening to my crap. thanks to gerlynn and chua for bearing with me(especially chua...sorry). thanks to tingan for being tingan. thanks to ken and jen for being "encouragin". thanks to 106 for being to co-operative. thanks to lewis for making me laugh when i was gonna howl. thanks to the girls for being so nice and undestanding. thanks to the guys for being so great and wondeful. Thanks to roti and gan and josie and gary and yuting and divya. 106 loves u. thanks to mr ingham and the amazing race committee and all who toiled through the race. thanks to florence for a great co-stationmaster.thanks to gay roy for such entertainment and thanks to sidwyn for calling roy gay and hitting his....Erm...never mind. thanks to darren and don for bearing with me.and thanks to everyone in cell group. in prayer group and yeah.
thank you Lord. for such wondeful ppl in my life.

yayaya

2005-12-18T18:27:00.000-08:00

yay
my dad went overseas and bought cheaply 4 CD sets for me. Now i have another complete works of Debussy(including la mer...so cool.) , a Brahms essence album, a Ravel album(seriously...i think im beginning to dump debusssy for ravel...Gaspard de la nuit!!) and the complete opera of Carmen by Bizet. Im still listening to Carmen. It's damn good.
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA
I love christmas.

arrhh

2005-12-18T05:02:00.000-08:00

omg. i CANT stand her. there are very few people on earth that i really cant stand. and have some sort of extreme negative feelings for. i mean, seriously. sometimes i haf this secret little wish to stab her. with a dagger. then rip her into pieces. I dunno why. I dun hate anyone really. but like i say, hate is based on love. so i guess, im pretty close to hating her. i can;t help it. its not my fauly. she charms. and she really is nice. or at least seems to be. everyone likes her. not that im jealous or anything, cuz its not like everyone hates me or anything. but really i know most ppl will take her side if i try anything. not that im going to. I m just so SICK of her. pretending to keep a low-profile, acting all modest when all the time everyone knows that it just draws even more attention to her.
I HATE HER

hmmm

2005-12-13T22:43:00.000-08:00

just came back from national piano finals....went there to watch only...haha...quite impressive..

confusion

2005-12-12T18:21:00.000-08:00

i wanted to continue with my online research on bach....but gave up. very perplexed with brahms. what's up with him? like ms chin said, there must be something up if he compose all his little piano works with a 4 time repetition in the A of binary form section.....but why? It sounds like a chinese pop song, the romanze. According to the Oxford Dictionary of Music,, a romanze is a title randomly given to any composition of the composer as he or she wants/wanted, and is often to the composer's most tender and intimate emotions, e.g. hate, angst, jealousy etc.
I just assumed Brahms' Romanze Opus 118 was a love song. Because of his love for Clara and the fact that in his biography, it was mentioned that Brahms considered love the greatest power in the world. Love-ly.
Anyway, while I was trying to figure out the whole first section, which contained that mysterious four lines, ms chin added that the 1st line was more masculine and the second more feminin.
and since the motif for the 1st and second line is almost the same and the 1st few bars of the 2nd line and 4th line are almost identical, it became a sort of conversational thing. men and women talking to each other.
So I pretended that A was Brahms and B was Clara.
coincidentally, the 3rd line of the conversation was the most vigorous and lyrical. so i decided that Brahms must be speaking of his great love to Clara. With his back ground, it's not hard to imagine. Clara was Scumann, his friend and sorta mentor's wife. Brahms loved her, but never tried anything even after Robert died. And they remained friends. Sounds like our generation stories. And Brahms never married or fell for another woman. Because Clara was Schumann's wife, Brahms probably never got around to say anything to her, so perhaps Romanze was a dedication to his own fantasy, or what he imagined things would be had he confessed to Clara. But throughout the 1st section, "Clara"'s part was always more subdued, so I suppose that really was a woman trying not to hurt anyone. And conceal her feelings. Poor Brahms.
What a fantasy, he's almost like a teenager.
But then again, none of the above is academically proven to be true. And I do have an overactive imagination. But still, it's easier to play the song of frustration and unrequited love with the pictures in my head. Clara and Brahms. Clara and Brahms. I put my heart into that.
Sometimes I really forget that It's Brahms, not me.
Not me.
I hope

2005-12-06T04:05:00.000-08:00

sorry. tat was mean. luckily he dun read blogs. dun tell him and dun read it. hahaha im such a meanie....sigh

magic

2005-12-06T03:58:00.000-08:00

omg....disneyland is like.....a pilgrimage. and the universal studios. and fuji mountains.. OMG....beautiful.
and oh i bought a hell lot of stuff....haha// for every one too. some stuff for berry and becca and roti..and some mickey thing for sharl becuz she is really into it. and really. its hard to buy things for guys, and i really haf no idea wad to get ken and jen and bryan....wanted to buy this lame thing...its a can of air packaged on fuji mountain 5th station....lame/
but if its so hard to buy things for guys....how come i haf no trouble buying for darren?(*psst, give u a clue.......sister)HAHAHA...sorry

here i come tokyo

2005-11-26T19:05:00.000-08:00

omg....im really going to tokyo disneyland.
i know its like kinda of kiddie and whatever. believe me i can never forget disneyland since i went there 7 years ago. its a fantasy.
*and its not hongkong disneyland...yuck*

slicery

2005-11-22T19:07:00.000-08:00

mom thot i was committing suicide. i could've been. the third finger is still damn rigid. which is like damn annoying when i play cuz my fingers are stuck between two black jeys. Ouch. becuz the cuts are on the sides. totally stupid. the moment i cut it, the front part started bleeding and i dropped the scissors and rushed arnd madly. then mom bandadged it so i chilled...but i spent a whole afternoon wondering how come it hurts on both sides....den i realised tat scissors cut two ways. both sides. only tat the other side hurts less.
haiz...now only can play flute. (and recorder.....-.-)

2005-11-14T05:42:00.000-08:00

After Mozart passed away, the town drunk heard some strange noises coming from the grave site. Terrified, he ran and got the priest. He bent close to the headstone and heard some faint, unrecognizable music. The frightened priest got the town magistrate. He listened for a minute and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Symphony No. 41 being played backward. And there's the 40th ... the 39th ... 38th ..." Then he stood up and said, "Nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."
~ Author Unknown ~

hahaha/
tat's funny. ok. maybe not. i dun like mozart anyway....a bit....sissy.
lol.taken from rosemck.tripod.com. check it out. it's the best classical midi site i've found. its got i want to hear. almost all. they dint haf carmen burana though.
must go for the concerts....lalala/

LALAL

2005-11-14T05:31:00.000-08:00

dint do well. but dun really care.
OMGOMGOMGOMG>< Concert for Grieg's piano concerto in a minor!!!!! AHHHHHH so cooll!!!tat concerto rocks madly.i love it.

2005-11-04T00:40:00.000-08:00

oh well...
i wanna cry wanna cry......so....i took so long to realise that Korea shifted it capital to seoul. but i thought it's all along been in seoul? well...never mind.haiz.....
chem flunk liao.....but these days, i dun really care anymore. towards the end I almost wanted to juz hand it up and leave the last 3 questions blank...
I can't wait for get that jay chou album....and aaron copland....and debussy....and glenn gould's brahms rhapsody....and erm, i want practically the whole of kinokuniya and art friends.
jay chou......what IS a nocturne anyway?
well...i dun really give a damn abt chopin....he's cooll...but not drama enough for me.

2005-10-29T05:42:00.000-07:00

haiz....exams. even though no one beieves me, i've totally no concern about him anymore.
ok, maybe a bit... haha
anyway, i broke record today! played the toccata for 1 whole hour without realising it. haha.
anyway, friday after exams was such a rush. for once, everything went smoothly for me. First i had to rush home cause dad's "very important" shipment was coming at 5, and I managed to reach the house right after the truck, so i was ontime! Whee. Then I realised after receiving the shipment that I lost my handphone. So I was like, panicking, then decided to try calling my HP. turned out that the taxi driver saw it and left it with my condominium seciruty guards. whew. so lucky. so i must thank God for this. Thanks to the Lord who had made things so smoothly for me. Miracles.
But then now I must try NOT to make mom angry, at least not on my birthday. she's been very sensitive to the point of being childish lately. can't stand it. but i guess im a little at fault too. things i dun give a damn about are those she cares about most. I realise that well, too late, the past cannot be undone. i haf to live with it. im so glad the Lord is with me at a time like this. Atheist if you dont like this, dun read/

2005-10-18T02:19:00.000-07:00

sometimes its just nice to sit and exchange emoticons wif my cousin doing nothing. its nice not having to worry about everything. its tension in this house. this household is anit-christ for the moment being.
how do i deal with a buhhda sitting in the living room.
im angry. i really am. she has no right to prosecute me. its ridiculous.
ihate it when she tries to do things to me. i hate it even more when instead of seeing juz her actions, i see her intentions as well. it disgusts me. its so childish. im beyond that man, she's dealing with herself , not me.
so what if i betrayed her trust....her attitude. it disgusts me,
i have a right to be subjective sometimes. im sick of it.

pray for me more.

2005-10-12T02:49:00.000-07:00

i turn round and round and round.
nothing. why is my worst fear being hated by others?
nightmares. i just can't get out of them.
Mary poppins came on the east wind. then left, like a breeze.
but she couldnt carry my nightmares away.
i run on and on. trapped in that circular track.
i need to breakthrough.
but who will give me that power?
who will?
***
Im falling through. i can't see.
its all so dark. then suddenly so bright.
i can hear, i can hear faint sounds on the black and white keys.
tinkles. it's an A. a 440. i can recognize that.
it's so lonely. moving on one note....dragging on to the next. like a drawl.
i can't breathe. its so heavy. my heart ceases to feel.
lost. all lost. light. but blinding light.
I trailed Alice through her Wonderland. Never an end. Anything can happen.
Dream.